What is Health to You?

When people look at me they see a personal trainer however, my body is not a business card. But often society has stipulations as to what people and occupations should look like. Our bodies are instruments in this world, not ornaments. Sadly for the majority of my life, I didn't view my body that way or others bodies for a matter of fact. I wanted to be exactly what men wanted and what woman sought out to be. This led to very disordered eating habits from a young age which continued until I was 30 years old. But looking at me during my "fittest and leanest" times, as an outsider one would assume I was ultra healthy. I was obsessing about every aspect of my body. It was entirely about how I looked and what size I was. As women I believe we are taught this and so much of our worth is valued from our appearance. Physical health is not a good primary marker of overall health and it's extremely limited. It doesn't leave room for the multifaceted realities of being human that involves socioeconomic factors, privilege, food security, cultural and religious aspects, discrimination, etc.

Last week I overheard some ladies in the gym talking about their eating habits, how they were compensating for "bad" foods that they ate the day prior, and how they were back on track because after their workouts they were going to go to the nutrition shake place around the corner. It has become increasingly difficult for me to listen to the very disordered normal diet culture that we are immersed in. The ideas of what health is varies from person to person, generation to generation, and gender to gender. Everyone has their own idea of what health looks like for them, but how much of it is shaped by a diet and fitness driven industry that profits off of insecurities they have ingrained in each one of us? On my walk home that morning I started to wonder, What does health mean to people? I'm asking because I feel there is a huge disconnect between the fitness industry and what is actually best for the health of our bodies and minds.

Exercise to me is a lot of different things, I even devoted an entire blog post to it here , but I believe it's a key component to a well rounded and healthy lifestyle. My first real passion is fitness and I'm inspired by how popular fitness has become in the past decade. However, I often question how beneficial it is when it's predominantly based on a physical appearance or physique. When I was training extremely hard, counting my macros to the gram, eating entirely too much fiber and protein and not nearly enough whole grains- I looked like the epitome of a brick shit house. I had visible abs, veins and muscles popped without having to flex, and was the leanest I've ever been. What no one saw, not even myself or maybe I was in denial, was that my hair was falling out, I only slept 3-4 hours each night, I was anxious, I avoiding family parties, lunches and dinners with friends, I would dissect myself from every angle, my period went away, I would lose my mind every time I was offered an unplanned meal that I couldn't track, I was losing energy and strength in the gym, and I was preoccupied with every single thing I put into my mouth that I didn't think of anything else, except my next meal or snack. On the outside I looked "fit" but was that the overall best thing for me? What was I doing to my hormones? My mental clarity was  jeopardized, my sense of well-being and health was validated solely by a number on the scale and the compliments I received, and my relationships were suffering.

Based on my personal experience and education, I would have to argue and say that it is not the best thing. It's quite the opposite actually. I don't mean to offend any body builder friends of mine or those that choose to compete in physique focused sports or those that desire to live this way, but selecting a lifestyle that is constantly that hyper focused can be overwhelming to say the least. Disordered eating habits and reckless compulsive exercising to maintain a dedication to your lifestyle isn't the answer. Understanding that fitness can be found and should be found in all different body shapes and sizes. Fitness and health do NOT have a size.

I ask that you look a bit deeper every time you feel poorly about yourself when looking at a sleek "fit" fitness model when you chose to nourish your body. Make your nutrition decisions based on your lifestyle and if you are unsure how that may look, seek out a professional- a registered licensed dietitian. To me, health should be more about how one feels and can benefit wellness wise than achieving a certain size, body shape, of number on a scale. Being kind to your body, listening to it are more important for longevity in this life.

That being said, I understand that being confident in our skin is desirable, but I have a vision of a healthy lifestyle that is healthy for my whole body, not just how it appears. You can be your best, fittest, and healthiest without obsessing over "eating clean", consuming a TON of protein, taking supplements, working out tirelessly, cutting out sleep to get everything done, and constantly tracking everything you consume. It is hard in today's day and age to speak out against the fitness and diet industry, simply because it's so over saturated and in our faces non-stop. It's in the media, pop-ups online, commercials, on the radio, social media, etc. and it's convoluted. I hope to see a shift someday toward the actual overall well-being for consumers that instead uses science based information to offer healthy food systems supported by nutrition specific research and a fitness industry that supports ALL bodies in the pursuit of health.